A family member was on the crew team in college.  As a person who grew up in the shadow of the Great Lakes, I was completely unfamiliar with this Old Englandish-type sport.  From photos it looks like a small person (coxswain) sits in the bow of the long, skinny boat facing the muscled people rowing in unison.  The coxswain doesn’t actually row the boat, providing no physical fuel to propel the boat forward.  Instead, the coxswain’s role is to steer the boat and provide rhythm and direction to the rest of the crew team.  Team training may also be part of that responsibility.  The coxswain is a physically small person to minimize extra drag on the boat – the brains, not the brawn.  Time to invoke a metaphor of the coxswain steering and directing the boat as the Head of Household (HOH) directs and steers the financial life of the family.  The role is exactly the same, whether or not the HOH realizes it.  Regardless if the household consists of one person or many people.  To clarify who a specific HOH is – that is the person listed at the top of an income tax return, the person who can’t be claimed as a dependent on someone else’s tax return.  The HOH can be two people when a married filing status is used, but for simplicity we’ll refer to the HOH as one individual.

• Setting the rhythm. Does the HOH have an open-wallet policy by putting cash on issues to solve problems?  When a crew member wants something – does he/she get it by cajoling and whining or by saving and planning?  Does the HOH use the “I’m not good with money” refrain?  Are financial decisions made in a thoughtful, well-planned manner?
• Providing direction. Do team members feel confident in the direction set by the HOH?  Is the household environment one of scarcity or plenty?  Is the financial health of the household improving or declining over time?  Is there a contingency fund for emergencies?
• Training. Are team members learning to make appropriate financial decisions on their own using the logic and decision-making demonstrated by the HOH?  Will team members have the ability to become independent, financially secure HOHs of their own in the future?
• Goal setting. Why is the team rowing like heck?  What does the HOH want to accomplish?  Are short-term sacrifices being made for long-term goals?  At a minimum, the HOH realizes that the rowers will age-out of the boat and become HOH themselves.  Is the HOH positioning the rowers for future success in their own boats?

I had a proud moment courtesy of one of my daughters that is no longer in my boat.  She has been both coxswain and rower in her own boat for a couple of years, living in a different area of the country.  We’ve established a routine of texting pictures back and forth of look-how-full-my-grocery-cart-is-for-X-dollars taken in an Aldi parking lot.  Her last trip also included a picture of a knock-off brand bottle of tea to drink on the trip home from the store.  She added the caption, “I’d rather drink a quarter than a dollar.”  It gave me such a feeling of contentment that, at least in this instance, some of the rhythm and training that occurred in my own boat had been absorbed by one of my crew.

• The coxswain’s role is to steer the boat and provide rhythm and direction to the rest of the crew team.  Team training may also be part of that responsibility.
• The Head of Household (HOH) directs and steers the financial life of the family.   The HOH sets the financial rhythm, provides direction, training and establishes goals.