It was a beautiful Fourth of July evening in 2015 with electric pontoon boats silently drifting in circles on a small lake.  A group of revelers lit a half dozen sky lanterns.  Of the six, two misfires immediately went into the water.  Four floated away into the night while I said a silent prayer of please don’t burn down my house.  The celebratory group continued its festivities.  The sky lanterns forgotten.

Unfortunately, I couldn’t forget about the sky lanterns because I’d see them again and again – for more than a year.  Two of the sky lanterns went to an unknown and unknowable place.  The two lanterns that fizzled into the water got caught in some shoreline weeds.  A few months later they flowed downstream with other trash.  Two other sky lanterns landed in the woods by the running trails about 500 feet as the crow flies from lift-off.  That pair stayed there until the neighborhood clean-up the following year.  The sky lantern pictured had been in the woods about nine months at that point.  They sure weren’t going anywhere.  The flame retardant properties made them non-biodegradable.  Regardless of the manufacturer claims.  Those sky lanterns would have outlasted a 1970’s Pampers diaper in a landfill had a kindly neighbor not been on trash duty.

Description and Cost

This a description of a sky lantern from an on-line retailer which sells a ten pack for $10:

“Sky lanterns give you the opportunity to create a truly unique experience for your event or celebration that will be remembered. You can be sure that everyone will want to share the same memories with their friends and family at their events! When sky lanterns are simultaneously released into the night sky they create a truly mesmerizing display, which is both noiseless and epic. They are ideally suited for a multitude of celebrations such as Weddings, Birthdays, Anniversaries, New Year parties, back-yard BBQ’s, tailgating and much more.

They are easy to use and come complete with simple to follow instructions. Sky lanterns are also known as Khoom Fay, Khoom Loy, Kung Ming, Sky Lanternen, Himmelslaternen, Fire Lanterns or UFO Balloons. They utilize the heat of fire to create an unforgettable moment. These fully biodegradable lanterns are made out of rice paper, non-toxic wax and bamboo. They are fitted with fuel cells for a longer flight and will burn for 5 to 10 minutes and can fly over a mile high!”

To summarize, a sky lantern is a flaming, floating piece of plastic (none were rice paper in my neighborhood) that either causes a fire or becomes a piece of garbage.  The person who ignites the sky lantern enjoys the view for about ten seconds and then forgets about it.  Envision sky lanterns having their own entire section in the Pacific Garbage Patch.  Noiseless and epic as described?  Not so much.

Qualities of Sky Lanterns

The good – Briefly looks pretty
The bad – Litterbugging at its most obtuse
The ugly – Burn down a house half a mile away and perhaps the occupants can escape

Stomping Out Sky Lanterns

Sky lanterns are prohibited by the National Fire Protection Association.  More information is available here.  Some communities have banned the use of sky lanterns or create an exemption for use during a cultural or religious ceremony.  The sky lantern must be tethered, attended and retrieved by the user.  In effect, the requirements cause the consequences of the sky lantern to remain with the person igniting the flame.  Hooray!  There may be a tradition surrounding some sky lanterns.  But when we know better – aren’t we supposed to do better?  An easier, more efficient solution would be to skip the sky lantern purchase and light that ten-dollar bill on fire.  Or perhaps use ten one-dollar bills so the celebration lasts longer while the crowd does a polite golf course clap.  That would be epic.  When Smokey the Bear says No, No means No.

• A sky lantern is a flaming, floating piece of plastic that either causes a fire or becomes a piece of garbage.  The person who ignites the sky lantern enjoys the view for about ten seconds.  Then forgets about it.
• Sky lanterns are prohibited by the National Fire Protection Association.
• Skip the sky lanterns and save $10.